Social skills and building community
Incoming and current students, who have grown up with smartphones and social media, have been shown to have under-developed social skills because most of their interpersonal interactions happen through screens and apps. This means they may struggle to read facial, vocal and body cues and feel uncertain about social interactions.
This impacts their physical and mental health, as well as their ability to engage and learn.
Helping them learn to embrace discomfort early can make a big difference. A recent graduate shares, “If I were starting [college] over, I would encourage myself to lean into my discomfort a little bit more and ask myself WHY I feel the way I do. And that’s a part of finding your community, when you find people who are having the same feeling you do, it starts to go away and you learn how to confront it.”
To support your students, cultivate a sense of belonging and encourage them to build community, share:
- That what they’re feeling is common for young people today. There is a loneliness epidemic and many students are facing significant challenges related to social isolation. Many students feel nervous or intimidated about making friends. “A lot of problems for incoming [first years] stem from fear,” one sophomore cautions. But, they shouldn’t “let that fear stop the development of new, possibly lifelong, friendships.”
- Some guidance to help them navigate struggles. Consider sharing what’s helped you or encouraging students to start study groups, and join clubs or attend events related to their interests.
- How integral connection and trust are to deepening collective learning. Discussing community agreements and how they want to ‘be’ together can be a great beginning.
- Discomfort is an important part of learning and growing. Students need to understand that there’s value in getting out of one’s comfort zone and learning how to talk about tough stuff.
- Your intent to create opportunities for real connection in your classroom.
- Have students introduce themselves early in the semester. Warmups are a great way for students to share things about themselves in low risk but structured ways.
- Building in moments for informal conversation helps ease overwhelm.
- Use Canvas: Create a low-stakes discussion thread for students to discuss ideas that don’t necessarily relate directly to the course material. For instance, invite students to bring in unexpected media like a meme or YouTube video and share how they think it relates to that week’s reading.
- Build in time for students to talk to one another while still relating it to course material. E.g., pair students and ask them to share one thing that surprised them in the last class session then share back to the class. It’s also a great way to reinforce learning from the last class.
- Use the first few minutes of class for a warm up or class ritual.
- Incentivize conversation. Tell students if everyone is in conversation by the time you arrive in class, they’ll get extra points. (see: Teaching students how to make small talk)
For Students
- Adjusting to college takes time and having community helps.
- If you aren’t finding events, recreational activities, or clubs related to your interests, you can start your own organization or plan your own events and request funding from the Student Senate.
- Connecting off campus with a few classmates over a show or visit to a museum can be fun, especially with a discounted or free ticket. There are also many opportunities to learn about NYC by volunteering.
- Embracing discomfort is important, according to this recent graduate. “If I were starting [college] over, I would encourage myself to lean into my discomfort a little bit more and ask myself WHY I feel the way I do. And that’s a part of finding your community, when you find people who are having the same feeling you do, it starts to go away and you learn how to confront it.”
Additional resources
- Could it really be that talking to strangers makes us happier? Perhaps. NPR (2 min., audio)
- What to do about the loneliness epidemic? The Surgeon General says students need to focus on connections, Arizona State University News (~7 min., article)